Sunday, February 21, 2016

Banned from The Garden of Ganking: ThatOleSerpent

During one's career in the Militia, fighting High Sec criminals as part of the PreCrime unit of Concord, it can be difficult not to develop a very low opinion of the gankers, their motivations, and mental acumen.

Most often times, the local channel is a ticker-tape display of criminal mendacity, thought crimes, and psychological warfare of a level only found in the sand boxes of planetary elementary schools.

It's hard not to judge.

On rare occurrences, you come across criminals who respect the rule of law, and respect the cat-and-mouse game played by both sides.

However, most of the time, it is just a continual display that the ctrl, c and v keys are still functioning within the criminal underworld, thus proving, that the F1 key is not the only faded key on the control board within the pods.

The High Sec criminal underworld likes to portray itself as "Always Winning", the place for "Elite PvP",  where "AG always fails, fails everyday" and a place where Bros can be Bros, full of fun and camaraderie, and free ships.

And then comes along the ugly truth. Video evidence that what happens behind the scenes, behind that false picture copy-pasted into local, which only confirms that their world  is quite dark and ugly, exemplifying your lowest estimations of the criminal mindset.

Sometimes your gut feeling of criminals are too spot on.

ThatOleSerpent had only, hours earlier, screwed up the gank of an Ark in Sivala.
You can enjoy his stream here.

An Obelisk carrying multiple billions was being bumped in Madirmilire.  The Goon criminal fleet was forming, and ThatOleSerpent was streaming madly away -  live, unedited, and undelayed.  Fleet channel, open gankers comms... it was lovely.

The Militia formed up, responded, and saved the freighter from the first gank.



Another attempt was to be made, but... mistakes were made.

The gank fleet could not get its act together, the FC was pointed, and then... things got ugly.

ThatOleSerpent, aka PokeyBear, received some bad news.




We conclude with the final bits of the comments of his twitch stream.


  • Slaytanic_X: you = fucked

  • lokifnx2: http://imgur.com/U4pYqKs click the fucking link
  • st0nersmurf: he is abit mad yeah ;o
  • Slaytanic_X: fat fucl
  • Pietastesokay: plz dont
  • lokifnx2: got damnit
  • jakobako: Click the link and say "JAKOBAKO MADE ME READ THIS" and ill give you 25 mil!
  • Ranty72: Your FC has spoken
  • bfmv829: FC there is a strange link, what do?
  • v0xie: It's imgur lol
  • jakobako: it's me, loyalanon. click the link my apprentice http://imgur.com/U4pYqKs
  • st0nersmurf: wait ya got sound,.., eve has sound...
  • Ranty72: lol
  • Sepov: omg epic
  • jakobako: I, too, keep a picture of myself, "me.jpg" on my desktop SoonerLater
  • lokifnx2: @Pokeybear, i been here this whole time and you just gonna start ignoring me
  • Sepov: Dude, you realize you have been exiled?
  • jakobako: he's master troll. trolled code, now trolling us via meta
  • lokifnx2: god meta so strong
  • Ranty72: amen
  • bfmv829: ccplz nerf this guys meta game
  • lokifnx2: lol
  • v0xie: Was he kicked from code?
  • lokifnx2: @v0xie, see http://imgur.com/U4pYqKs
  • squidhook: @Pokeybear how much weed did you smoke today?
  • Sepov: im thrilled tho read the threadnaght about this later xD
  • lokifnx2: but does he know?
  • Sepov: nope, he does not
  • 1gspam: you are banned from freighter ganking fleets lol
  • Ranty72: I'm sure he does, but is trying to ignore it like a bad wet dream
  • lokifnx2: bad wet dream?
  • bfmv829: it involved his uncle, i would assume that it was a bad dream...
  • Ranty72: lol
  • Ranty72: that works
  • 1gspam: you are banned from freighter ganking fleets lol
  • lokifnx2: @Pokeybear, can you explain tactics for advanced ganking
  • 1gspam: you are banned from freighter ganking fleets lol
  • Ranty72: you know if he gets banned he will quit eve and have nothing to do except Wow raids
  • BoneyTooth: he's just banned from my fleets. I'm a goon, he's not a goon.
  • Ranty72: ohhh gotcha
  • BoneyTooth: CODE. can do whatever they want with him, other goon FCs can follow their own perogative on what they do.
  • 1gspam: you are banned from freighter ganking fleets lol
  • lokifnx2: @BoneyTooth, are were you the fc?
  • BoneyTooth: Yes
  • 1gspam: you are banned from boneys fleets lol
  • bfmv829: FC he's ignoring us, what do?
  • Ranty72: lol
  • BoneyTooth: I recommended all of my other FCs set him red as well, but that's their perogative


  • Logical_Fallacy: I think most other goons feel the same way about him right now.

  • BoneyTooth: He has brought shame upon the house of ganking today
  • lokifnx2: @BoneyTooth, please give us fleet warp to link click victory
  • squidhook: if you gankers are so upset, why not stream snipe him?
  • lokifnx2: will there be a TMC article on this
  • squidhook: his attention is clearly divided
  • lokifnx2: @squidhook, but how do we get him to click link ?http://imgur.com/U4pYqKs
  • jakobako: put it on minerbumping..
  • Sepov: oh oh
  • squidhook: ^6
  • st0nersmurf: failed ganks ;o hapends alot, a navy apod tryed to gank my thrasher ;o concord ftw
  • BoneyTooth: @Jakobako i said it in minerbumping, he's not paying attention.
  • Sepov: fucking hilarious? man, the irony
  • Ranty72: yup
  • Slaytanic_X: Read the one where some fat moron was live streaming gank ops without blanking anything out
  • 1gspam: you are banned from boneys fleets cya nerd
  • lokifnx2: hes going to tell his fam how all 40 of us were watching him today
  • lokifnx2: how hes on the way to streaming for a living
  • jakobako: Oh yeah we get that, i just want to see his reaction as he refreshes minerbumping.com (its probably his homepage) and newest story..http://imgur.com/U4pYqKs
  • v0xie: He's about to faint
  • Lokifnx1197: Pvp something
  • echodegnar: Is he still fapping about himself?
  • squidhook: ive seen this movie before, he goes on a road trip with david spade and saves his dads brake company
  • Ranty72: lmao
  • echodegnar: Has he done any spaceships shit since he got wrecked earlier?
  • Ranty72: nope
  • Lokifnx1197: This guy going to rip his whole career on stream
  • v0xie: Yup
  • Lokifnx1197: http://imgur.com/U4pYqKs
  • 1gspam: you are banned from boneys fleet cya nerd
  • Slaytanic_X: read the minerbumping post where some fat moron was live streaming gank ops without blanking anything out
  • Sepov: he is talkinkg the EVE career
  • Lokifnx1197: http://imgur.com/U4pYqKs
  • st0nersmurf: its 1 mil a share
  • Lokifnx1197: Meta too strong
  • st0nersmurf: ppl yust buy alot of them
  • 1gspam: you are b@anned from boneys fleet cya nerd
  • squidhook: he paid 1 bil for his shares shhhhh
  • st0nersmurf: ;o
  • Lokifnx1197: Shoot something fgt
  • 1gspam: you are banned from boneys fleets
  • Lokifnx1197: But will you actually shoot someone
  • jakobako: not an ibis ffs
  • Ranty72: lol look at local
  • Lokifnx1197: Or even good?
  • Lokifnx1197: http://imgur.com/U4pYqKs
  • Sepov: someone message him
  • Sepov: pls its getting painfull, keeping that laugh back


  • Logical_Fallacy: who is he talking to
  • Lokifnx1197: He's winning the meta boys
  • st0nersmurf: hes talking to all the whiteknights in chat ;)
  • Lokifnx1197: Show us your name on the kill
  • Ranty72: thatoldserpent is him
  • Sepov: oh noes, he wont see it? want to see it!!
  • st0nersmurf: o/
  • Sepov: :(
  • jakobako: what a hero
  • st0nersmurf: lol
  • Lokifnx1197: Nooo


  • stykyt: oh man
  • Ranty72: lol


  • stykyt: balls. bo blue.


  • stykyt: *so
  • Ranty72: sad days
  • Lokifnx1197: A true an hero
  • Sepov: i bet he is checking that link out now tho!
  • squidhook: he'll be at your house soon and eating your milk and cookies


  • PokeyBear: LOL
  • Lokifnx1197: Will he ever log back on


  • PokeyBear: Actually no
  • Sepov: you should
  • Lokifnx1197: My guess is no


  • PokeyBear: miner remain calm
  • Sepov: would be hilarious
  • BoneyTooth: i would look at the link
  • BoneyTooth: cause otherwise you wont understand why you can't see my fleet advert next time I run a fleet on code comms
  • squidhook: his mom goes to bed around 9:00 p.m est so he'll be able to stream after the bandwidth frees up
  • Lokifnx1197: Plz tell us
  • Lokifnx1197: His mom streams live cams?
  • Sepov: check the link pls, and put back the stream, just for some laughs mate
  • Ranty72: So sad
  • Lokifnx1197: We know you're still in chat
  • Sepov: indeed
  • Lokifnx1197: @pokeybear I'll invite you to my fleet
  • Innersane: @BoneyTooth hey that's a little harsh mandude
  • Innersane: Stream was funny
  • jakobako: im coming back tomorrow im gonna quit my job BORT
  • Ranty72: lol


  • PokeyBear: lol
  • st0nersmurf: almost missed a pod watchingh this ;o


  • PokeyBear: lol it was good times


  • PokeyBear: later folks o/
  • st0nersmurf: o/
  • Innersane: later dude

No comments: