Sunday, December 27, 2015

Bloody Bear's Christmas

It was early morning on Christmas Day
and Bloody Bear was on patrol
His trusty Hyperion was amongst the ice
of the dangerous system of Kamio

Now Bloody Bear was not alone
he wasn't the only anti-ganker on field
his friends forrest Koskanaiken and Shelley Tortuga were there
to provide the miners with some extra shield

For a long time Bloody Bear watched o'er the miners
but, alas, nothing was happening
with no reds in local and adjacent systems clear
Bear thought the criminals might just be fappening

Perhaps the gankers are sleeping, thought Bear,
dreaming of fat haulers and miners AFK
But Bear was sooo wrong about that
things were soon not to be OK

Then all of a sudden. local lit up like a Christmas Tree
and what should appear
11 Kusion Brothers flashing in unison
and the miners, in unison, thought, "oh dear!"

Bear told forrest Koskanaiken "RED ALERT"
we must be ready for the gankers!
Bear target locked a Retriever
and sent his shield drones to stop those wankers

Surely, this barge will be their target, thought Bear
it was the only weak ship in the ice
but the Kusion Brothers had a different plan of attack,
and that plan was certainly not nice!

Bear knew it could happen one day
and soon the Kusion Brothers would try
to gank Bear's battleship sooner or later
but Bear determined he would make them cry

Bear was ready to defend that miner
with a ship worth a princely sum
And on D-Scan 12 Cats appeared
so Bear told his mates, "Here They Come!!!"

While the Cats warped to the ice
Bear's battleship wasn't sitting in one spot,
Nope, he was orbiting
just like he was taught

But the 12 Cats warped in on TOP of Bear
only 3 km from his Hyperion
Uh oh, thought Bear, he knew the target was HIM
and the Kusions, perhaps, were suffering a mass delirium

With Bear's shield drones still on the Retriever
Bear locked the targets but knew in his haste
that they were too close for his guns
so he would have to trust his Nanite Repair Paste

It took 13 seconds, and was over in a flash
and the reds and CONCORD began to clear
But what lay there in the ice, 12 cat shipwrecks
and Bear's Hyperion, covered in gankers' tears

Yes, his ship was damaged but it survived
a 12 Cat Goon and CODE gank fleet
Bear would be ready for them in the next attack
because Bear knows, they can be beat.

Merry Christmas to All
And to all, Fly Safe

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Scam Web Duels - Orca Wins

HSM Situation Report: Madirmilire 

Annika Krauss - flying an Orca - was bumped by criminally-aligned Machariel pilot, Calm Down Freighter.

Annika was approached by con artist - Emma Painter - who showed up in a Daredevil offering webs to assist in her escape.

Naturally, this was a scam web duel, and once dueled, Emma reshipped into a catalyst.

However, the Orca had defensive capabilities and was able to neutralize the catalyst whenever it tried to fire.  The orca shields never dropped below 85%.

An impasse arose.

HSM member Sabre Dean arrived and removed Emma Painter's catalyst from the grid. Kill: Emma Painter (Catalyst)

Emma then reshipped into a Atron, and then into a Thrasher.  Nothing was working for this criminal gang.

And then, the criminal gang faced their lowest morale breaking point - an event so shameful, that ZKillboard to this day refuses to post the event.

The criminal Kusion family of alts arrived, but seemed more interested in attempting to attack the rest of the HSM fleet on grid, in order to work out that excess frustration and angst.

At that point, the Orca was able to escape, and continued to taunt the gankers.

[02:51:03] EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Madirmilire
[03:03:29] Annika Krauss > go away pls
[03:07:19] Annika Krauss > if thats fun for u
[03:13:20] Kaine Lust > Хао,где тут ассортимент побогаче?
[03:50:53] Annika Krauss > come on guys kill me now pls
[03:51:33] Frayn Bantam > working on it
[03:51:57] Annika Krauss > u r all working on your little dicks i think
[03:55:51] Annika Krauss > come on guys how many ships do you need to kill a little orca...
[03:56:11] Calm Down Freighter > lol
[03:56:12] Calm Down Freighter > one
[03:57:16] Annika Krauss > so start...
[03:57:21] Annika Krauss > u have 5
[03:59:32] Annika Krauss > thats a nice kill mail :)
[03:59:40] Kip Winger > \o/
[03:59:45] Annika Krauss  Kill: Emma Painter (Thrasher)
[04:00:00] Calm Down Freighter > hahahaha
[04:00:04] Calm Down Freighter > man this is great
[04:00:07] Calm Down Freighter > PROUD OF US TEAM
[04:00:30] Annika Krauss > killed by orca... u r so pro
[04:01:56] Annika Krauss > come on guys start the fight!
[04:03:05] Annika Krauss > u need falcons... even more pro
[04:04:06] Calm Down Freighter > STILL ISK POSITIVE
[04:04:30] Annika Krauss > lol
[04:04:36] Annika Krauss > very pro
[04:04:44] Annika Krauss > thx for the kill mail
[04:04:47] Annika Krauss > :)
[04:05:47] Kip Winger > isk positve...  must be Code Math
[04:06:33] Annika Krauss > calculating isnt even math at all
[04:06:38] Calm Down Freighter > nah he gave me 35m
[04:06:42] Annika Krauss > not nearly
[04:06:56] Calm Down Freighter > catalysts is 3m? Thrasher is not wure?
[04:07:15] Annika Krauss > thats the fee for the kill mail i guess :)
[04:08:08] Kip Winger > So she paied... and you were still ganking... Hmmm Interesting.
[04:08:12] Kip Winger > *paid
[04:08:54] Kip Winger > Code likes to hide their tears behind bad math and lies
[04:08:54] Annika Krauss > i got the km... so it was worth it ^^
[04:08:59] 1Lt Aldo Raine > I thnk they are too proud to admit
[04:09:06] Calm Down Freighter > :'(
[04:09:07] 1Lt Aldo Raine > code failed :(
[04:09:16] Kip Winger  lol  Calm Down Freighter
[04:09:22] 1Lt Aldo Raine > but you did kill a griffin
[04:09:28] 1Lt Aldo Raine > gj
[04:09:36] Kip Winger > Thats like 50 mil!
[04:09:44] Saber Ding > omg
[04:09:47] 1Lt Aldo Raine > daaaaaamn
[04:10:17] Calm Down Freighter > what griffin
[04:10:20] Calm Down Freighter > did jason kill something?
[04:10:37] Annika Krauss > i killed the trasher
[04:10:52] Calm Down Freighter > yes I know that
[04:11:02] Annika Krauss > i ganked a trasher with my orca :)
[04:11:19] 1Lt Aldo Raine > nice
[04:11:27] Calm Down Freighter > well
[04:11:29] Calm Down Freighter > it was a duel
[04:11:30] Calm Down Freighter > not a gank
[04:11:31] Calm Down Freighter > but yeah
[04:11:44] Annika Krauss > code logic :p
[04:11:48] Calm Down Freighter > not really
[04:11:51] Calm Down Freighter > if you ganked it
[04:11:55] Calm Down Freighter > I would be a lot more amused
[04:12:20] Calm Down Freighter > aaannnd
[04:12:23] Calm Down Freighter > I'm not code ;)
[04:12:35] Annika Krauss > so concord would have more ballz then u guys and killed that orca u failed ^^
[04:12:56] Calm Down Freighter > alright
[04:14:36] Kip Winger  Calm Down Freighter not code.. come on....
[04:14:37] 1Lt Aldo Raine  Calm Down Freighter whaaaat??? your not code?
[04:14:45] 1Lt Aldo Raine > my spais say otherwise
[04:15:24] Kip Winger > Just cause your not in their corp.... thats just a ploy so you don't get a naughty wardec...
[04:15:32] Kip Winger > hard to bump with a wardec
[04:15:41] Saber Ding  Calm Down Freighter is that a proud statement that you're not code?

Monday, December 21, 2015

Scout ALOD - Sweet dreams

While on patrol, the Black Ops team acquired a visual on a covert ops scout asleep, uncloaked, and dreaming of overloaded freighters at a gate.

After scanning and verifying the astero was fitted for ship and cargo scanning, it was locked to prevent re-cloaking.

Surprisingly, the first attempt to rudely wake up the scout failed.

Additional SpecOps members were summoned - Agosto Blonde and  L-4 Dan Tooine.  15 minutes had already passed, and the team warped to the same location.

Incredulously, the ganker scout was still sleeping on the job.

Kill: Felicity Maken (Astero)

Finally, Felicity returned from the land of freighter unicorns and rainbow colored-cargo expanders, and warped away in her pod before the team could return once again.

This astero represents a new milestone in criminal scout luxury fits.

Congratulations Team on a job well done!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Bumper ALOD - Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

In this cold, vast galaxy, New Eden holds many mysteries.  Some mysteries are cosmic anomalies, explainable by science, if only we find the key.

Others are more mystical, ethereal in nature and remain unexplainable.  In such a galaxy, it is best not to tempt fate.

Frayn Bantam - Machariel bumper pilot for criminal organizations - took out his giant foam finger and shouted a challenge into the heavens.

And Frayn's prayer did reach Bob's ears.  And lo, HE reached out his mighty hand to answer...

We lower our heads in reverence to Bob's messengers - Jennifer en Marland and Slania Auduin.
And we give thanks to Bob's mighty backhand of Justice.  

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Scout ALOD - The Tears of Khan

Earlier this week, Black Ops members  Agosto Blonde and  Ryan Ahashion were in the Kamio system on another ganker scout neutralization mission.

Agosto Blonde warped to zero in the ice belt and confirmed a visual on a New Order scout. Criminals  had just committed an act of high sec terror and CONCORD was on grid.  Agosto slow burned to the target,   With no warp disruptor Agosto Blonde unleashed two volleys and...  Kill: Hiko Kobayashi (Anathema)

Startled and in shock, the ganker scout began the standard New Order diplomatic talks in local.

  • [05:35:07] Hiko Kobayashi > fnck

At this point, Hiko fled the scene to reship.  Upon returning in a Miasmos to begin the looting phase of the criminal act, he was again rudely surprised...

  • [05:43:18] Hiko Kobayashi > ryaaaaan

Ryan Ahashion was moving quickly toward the wreck and looted it.  Dismayed by his further loss, Hiko unleashed the full measure of his CODE fury...

  • [05:43:34] Hiko Kobayashi > kill his talos .he´s a suspect
  • [05:43:40] Hiko Kobayashi > khaaaan

Ryan offered him his condolences and a GF.

  • [05:43:41] Ryan Ahashion > thanks for loot hiko

Once Hiko regained his composure, he mused upon his loss.

  • [05:44:01] Hiko Kobayashi > @sshole looted my sushi service

Perhaps Hiko needed someone to buy him a drink.

This anathema kill represents a record scout KM value for the Black Ops team.